


Maybe

by KalluraIcedCoffee



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, One Shot, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 18:12:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12893856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KalluraIcedCoffee/pseuds/KalluraIcedCoffee
Summary: Allura wants to let go. Keith asks for more time. Sometimes things aren't resolved perfectly but you take what you can get when it's the right person.





	Maybe

**Author's Note:**

> I know fics about Keith and Allura post Naxzela have been done, but I’ve been obsessed with this song lately and it reminds me of their push and pull so I needed to get this out. It’s been sitting in WIP hell for a bit so I finally decided to post it. The quoted lyrics and the title of this fic come from the song “Maybe” by Alina Baraz ft. Galimatias.

_“What do I do when there’s too much of me too little of you?_

_What can I say when I know you’re not here to stay?_

_I can’t explain something I don’t understand. Why did I let this get out of hand?”_

 

Keith knows he’s losing her the second he looks in her eyes and the warmth that was normally there is gone.

He docks at the Castle of Lions after the battle at Naxzela, after he had nearly sacrificed himself. He’s shaken when the realization of what he’d almost done kicks in, but being greeted by Coran and the paladins eases his nerves, for now. There’s scolding and “don’t ever do something that crazy again” but it’s followed by hugs and pats on the back and ruffling of hair.

Except Allura.

She stands back while everyone else crowds around him. He hugs Shiro and his eyes lock with hers. There’s nothing there reflected in those eyes. No joy or relief. No hurt, no pain, not even anger. God he’d give anything for even anger, but there’s nothing. He separates from the group to approach her.

“It’s good to see you’re all right.” She says flatly, placing an obligatory hand on his shoulder to comfort him. “Please stay and rest for as long as you need.” She smiles. It feels empty. It hurts.

“Allura…”

“If you’ll excuse me, I have things I must attend to in light of recent events.”

“Allura.”

She turns and walks away from him without another passing thought.

 

_“Maybe, I’ll get you out of my head_

_Maybe, I’ll forget all the things you said_

_Lies on your lips, but there’s love in your eyes_

_Maybe I’ll forget you some other time…”_

 

“Say something. I know you want to.” Keith follows Allura down the empty corridor.

“What would you have me say?” She walks briskly ahead of him.

“Anything! Yell at me for being so reckless!”

“If I recall correctly you do not care for lectures.” Her voice is so damn cold.

“I’ll take one now just talk to me.”

“FOR WHAT PURPOSE?!” Allura snaps. She stops abruptly. She keeps her back to him.

His heart skips. She’s never raised her voice at him like this.

“How many times must I ask you, must I beg of you to stay? How many times must I tell you that the paladins need you, that Voltron needs you, not just as the red paladin but as Keith? How else can I convey how important you are? It’s clearly never enough. You still leave. You still choose The Blade.”

Her fists clench and her voice waivers as she speaks.

“What do I have to do to make you chose m-…us instead?”

Keith has no answer for her. His guilt chokes off any response he may have wanted to give in his throat. He reaches for her.

“What can I say to make it enough?” She mutters softly, still refusing to face him. “Perhaps I should finally I tell you that I lo-“

“Princess.” Coran interrupts. Keith almost blurts out an angry “NOT NOW” but holds his tongue.

Keith immediately pulls his hand back just as Allura finally turns to face him and Coran. They stare at each other, swallowing the hurt evident in their eyes as Coran approaches.

“I’m sorry to interrupt Princess but given Lotor’s request for alliance I feel we need to make preparations to discuss the matter with The Blade as well as the rebels before we give him any sort of audience.”

“Agreed.” Her game face is back on before Coran can notice, or maybe he does notice but knows it’s none of his business. “Keith, if you’ll excuse us.” They leave him there alone.

 

_“Why do I let you cross the line every time?_

_Why do I stay if I know you’re not mine?_

_Right on your skin, I know that love used to glow_

_How can I let you go if I know I’m so close?”_

Tonight, like many others, sleep evades him. He lays awake thinking of his many mistakes in a familiar bed that no longer feels familiar. When was the last time he slept in the castle? Quiet footsteps down a routinely traveled path lead him to the training room, his safe space, his fortress of solitude. It’s occupied. He watches from the window but does not enter.

“Commence training sequence 27.” Her voice is tired, she’s breathing heavily.

27? Is this where she’s been since excusing herself early from dinner? She’s sweating, her bun damp and falling apart. Hair is sticking to her face. She’s wearing a sweat soaked cutoff grey tank top and tights. Her feet are bare. She readies herself as the bot comes into view before her. Her movements are not as swift as normal but eventually she eliminates her foe, crushing its head with her staff.

“Commence training sequence 28.” She huffs.

“Stop pushing yourself too hard.” Keith whispers against the door.

“Commence training sequence 29.”

“Allura stop…”

“Commence training sequence 30.”

“Enough.” He says more gruffly, aloud to no one.

She’s barely keeping up. The bot is missing, but only by seconds. She hesitates too long and a hit finally connects. She flies across the room, crying out as she lands, rolling until she slams against the wall.

“End training sequence!” Keith yells.

He rushes to her side but she quickly holds up her hand to stop him in his tracks. She slowly gets on her hands and knees when he attempts to approach again, cautiously.

“I SAID NO!” She bellows. He steps back.

“Let me help you.”

“I don’t need your help.”

“Stop being so damn stubborn!” He’s pulling her to her feet.

“That’s rich coming from you! From someone who insists on doing everything alone!” She yanks her arm from his grasp.

Her jabs, her little needles of truth, sting. He winces.

“Training room is all yours. Allow me just this once to be the first one to walk away.” She hisses bitterly.

She knows she’s being hurtful on purpose. She can’t stop herself anymore. She feels his eyes burrowing into the back of her head as the door shuts behind her. There’s no way she’ll sleep. Her heart is racing. She staggers, sore and exhausted into the lounge. She leaves the lights off. She sits on the couch and faces the large window, staring out into the vast universe. The only light is the stars. She pulls the tie from her hair and lets it fall haphazardly about her face. It’s in that silence and darkness that she finally breaks. Both hands clamp over her mouth to stifle her sobs. She bends forward, tears dripping onto her toes, her hair falling forward onto the floor. She’s unsure of how long she’s been crying when the soft whoosh of the door opening stops her. She sits up straight, tries to collect herself, but she can’t do so quickly enough to hide the pain and frustration in her voice.

“Is there nowhere in this blasted castle I can go where you will not follow?” She sniffles while wiping her eyes with the palm of her hand.

“There’s nowhere in this universe you could go where I wouldn’t follow if it came down to it.” He says softly.

Her breath hitches. She places a hand on her chest to steady herself. She can hear his footsteps in the darkness as he steps behind the bar followed by sounds of glass clinking and tinkling.

Keith finally comes around and sits beside her. He hands her a glass, which she takes without question. He pops the top off the bottle he’s also brought and fills her glass with an amber liquid.

“We should probably stop calling it Coran’s secret stash considering everyone knows about it.” Keith smirks while filling his own glass.

“Lance said if we fill it back up with water he’ll never know.” She swirls the liquid around in the glass.

“What did I tell you about listening to Lance?”

“To never do it.”

“Good girl. Cheers.”

They touch glasses. They drink its contents in a single shot. They both cringe and cough, then laugh at the awful faces they make.

“Why did we just subject ourselves to that?” She groans and leans back on the couch.

“Cause I thought we could use a drink.” He takes her glass and his and sets it aside.

“I’m sorry I was so rude to you. I’m sorry I yelled.” She blurts out.

“I deserved a lot of that. I can’t believe I almost fucking crashed myself into a war ship.” He runs both hands through his hair.

“What were you thinking?” She says in a tone that leaves her mouth angrier than she would have liked.

“I wasn’t honestly. I just knew I had to do something.”

There’s a long silence then.                                    

“What were you going to tell me before?” Keith asks, thinking back on Allura’s words before Coran interrupted.

“I…I don’t remember.”

She’s lying.

More silence. His heart aches. He longs for her to just say it. He needs her to say it.

“When are you leaving again?” Allura asks quietly.

“Tomorrow, but I’ll be back for these talks with Lotor.”

“Can’t you stay longer?” She sounds so frail.

“Allura…”

“Damnit why do you obey every order I give you but that one?” Her voice is giving out again. “Why is it so difficult to just stay by my side?”

“Allura I…”

“I’m sorry I can’t do this.”

She gets up to leave before he can see her cry again. He snatches her by the wrist, yanking her back onto the couch where she was sitting before. In one swift movement he climbs on top of her, straddling her. All his weight is on her lap. She could move him off if she really needed to, but she’s so tired and her body hurts. Everything hurts. He clutches her face in his hands. She can feel his warm breath, tinged with the scent of the alcohol, on her face. She grabs the sides of his shirt at the waist, not knowing what else to do with her hands.

“I have to do this Allura. I know you guys need me, but I have to do this. I need to know who I am. I need to know my past. I need to know who my mother was and if she’s still alive. I know I’m asking too much, to be free to leave while expecting you to wait for me whenever I feel like coming back. I know it seems selfish but please give me more time, please still be here once I’ve figured it all out. Please…” He begs against her lips.

Allura shuts her eyes. She breaks again. The tears spill over her cheeks and wet his hands.

“I’m trying to be strong for you, I really am.” Her voice grows hoarse as she cries. “I want to be supportive of you. I would never stop you from finding your place in all this, but it just…hurts. I want you here with me. I-“

He cuts her off as his lips engulf hers. She inhales sharply at the first bit of freedom he lets her mouth have. His hands slide past her face and into her hair, grabbing it gently and tilting her head back to kiss her more deeply. Allura releases her grip on the fabric of his shirt, gliding her hands underneath and holding his waist firmly. He moans as her fingertips touch his skin.

“Tell me you still need me.”  Keith begs for validation between kisses. His hand slips up her tank top to knead her breast.

Allura is fumbling at the button then the zipper of his pants. She’s distracted. She doesn’t think to protect her heart by choosing her next words carefully. Instead the words tumble out of her mouth freely before she knows better to stop them.

“Of course I still need you, I’m in love with you.”

There it is.

The words Keith has been wanting, no, needing her to say all day. Actually it’s been longer than that.

Allura freezes. She never meant to let that slip. She almost did earlier but thankfully Coran came along. Now she’s vulnerable. He knows her heart now, to do with as he pleases. He can embrace it or throw it away. She knows right now she won’t be strong enough to handle the latter.

He’s not saying anything. Oh god, why isn’t he saying anything?

Keith gets off of her. He grabs her by the wrist again and pulls her up. He hurriedly rushes out of the room practically dragging her behind him.

“Keith!” She hisses as loudly as she can.

He finally stops, abruptly, but doesn’t turn to face her.

“I-I feel the same and I’ll be damned if our first time is in the lounge.” He whispers. He sounds adamant.

“Oh…” Her heart skips. He goes back to pulling her down the hallway. She knows where he’s leading her now.

Their clothes are a trail of breadcrumbs leading from her bedroom door to the bed.

“I’m not hurting you am I?” He, pauses, brushes the hair from her face.

“No, I like it. Please don’t stop.”

It does hurt a little, but she wants this. She’ll gladly take even the slightest bit of pain caused by being filled with him over the pain caused by being without him.

Keith takes his time despite wanting to rush ahead every time she moans or digs her fingers into his back. The whimpers make it excruciatingly hard. But when is the next time they’ll ever get a moment like this? He’ll make tonight last as long as he can. He’ll savor every kiss, every touch. He’ll remember how her skin tastes sweet mixed with the saltiness of her sweat. He’ll make love to her more than once if she lets him. Sleep be damned.

Tomorrow morning he’ll leave before she even wakes up. She knows that, knows it any time her mind has a quiet moment, which is few and far between because she’s constantly reminded that he’s inside of her. So she studies him now, every muscle, every scar. The way he bites his lip as he rocks back and forth on top of her. The sound of his grunts and moans. She could look at those eyes forever.

She was prepared to let him go the second he almost crashed into that ship but now…

Now she holds on tightly and eventually when he’s not there, even when he’s on the other side of the universe, she’ll still hold on.

 

_“Maybe, I’ll get you out of my head_

_Maybe, I’ll forget all the things you said_

_Lies on your lips, but there’s love in your eyes_

_Maybe I’ll forget you some other time…”_

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
